Selfishness.. When thinking about yourself goes TOO FAR!

YOUR NOT THE CENTER OF THE WORLD!!

For the sake of my conversation today..

Here are some definitions we need to get settled.

Selfish = Focusing on one’s own needs, wants, desires and pleasures. Not focusing on the needs, wants, desires and pleasures of others. And sometimes this also takes on the form of not even noticing that another has a need that you could meet;Even when that need is obvious to others around you..

Selflessness = Having little to no concern for one’s own needs, wants, desires and pleasures, but showing lots of concern for the needs of others. Sometimes this also becomes like an addiction. Now in the positive way like the bible describes it it can be where your addicted to ministering in others lives.. In the negative way it becomes where you enable others to hurt you, themselves etc.

Here's an example of what I am talking about..

Romans
Chapter 15

1 We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.

2 Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.

3 For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me.

4 For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.

5 Now the God of patience and consolation grant you to be likeminded one toward another according to Christ Jesus:

6 That ye may with one mind and one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

7 Wherefore receive ye one another, as Christ also received us to the glory of God.

And things you do can and do hurt others..

Your choices have consequences!

Why do I say this?

Because someone very near and dear to me is making a lot of very bad choices.

I love this girl.. But she isn't the girl I knew..

She has totally bought into the mentality that if someone isn't beneficial in your life.. that they are expendable.

And she has hacked off relationships that have hurt people.. 

And at this moment. I don't even know if she will realize inside this decade the HURT she's caused many people..

INCLUDING HERSELF! And to her children also..

 My mom was like that.. In some ways..

And sadly I started becoming like that..

And I know it's not easy becoming "selfless"

Selfishness is a mental problem.

And that mental problem is where YOU are the primary focus.

I will speak from my own experience from here on out in this post. When you are someone who has been abused by others.. ESPECIALLY as a young child. You learn to take care of yourself... And yes.. that means you build a wall of selfishness around your heart.. why? 

I can hear you out there thinking.. I'd think you'd be more concerned about helping others after a bad experience. But that's not true..

The person who grew up mentally and emotionally abused becomes convinced that no one else cared/cares about them and their needs. Hence they will do what they need above and beyond anything and anyone Else's needs. And it's almost so ingrained that they really can't see it.. It takes a lot of self observation to see how you repeatedly make choices doing things that are incongruous
with your normal morality and decisions.. And it is.. It was a choice from a place of brokenness in your life and it is making choices to seek it's own!

What I am suggesting is that you look at where your current life trajectory is heading.. and consider if you really want to go there??

See how your treating others.. See how your family responds to you..

What things can you do to change all of this..


My answer.. SEEK GOD!