**Promise he/she won’t hurt you again but is unwilling to seek help for his/her behavior or denies it being a problem?**
DID YOU KNOW? This is the biggest indicator of someone being AN ABUSER??
They don't see themselves as the abuser.. but if they keep apologizing for behaviors.. they obviously know that something isn't right... However rationalization may well keep them from seeking help.. and add to it if they are a proud person.. they won't want anyone to know they have a fault..
By the way... Husbands.. if your abusing your wife.. She most likely is passing on the abuse to your children.. Oh she (may not) be beating them up.. but.. she probably is saying things to them that hurt them.. Remember.. hurting people hurt people!!
p.s. remember most abusers.. be it mentally, emotionally or sexually have at one time or another been abused themselves! What most don't think about is that the abuse they are dishing out now.. is literally their sick way of replaying their own abuse. because they are afraid to deal with their own life issues!
I am not rationalizing or making excuses for them.. but inside of our culture we tend to see things as black and white.. problem is there is a million shades of Grey!